The Pepe bit Amber. I couldn’t BELIEVE it! "Pepe, man," I said, "the first rule of fight club is you NEVER bite Amber, for hers is that hand that feeds you." He was all, "hello, pretty boy!" so I don’t think he was listening. He says that ALL the time, though. I mean, you should see him with Terry! He’s ALL OVER him. Terry’s like, "Where’s my darlin’?" and the Pepe goes, "hello pretty boy!" It’s SICK if you ask me. Then Terry lets the Pepe sit on his shoulder, like he’s some kind of crazy pirate or something. MENTAL.

Speaking of things that are MENTAL, I peed in my bed last week and Amber hit the roof. It wasn’t my fault, though - the Pepe made me do it. He was getting all the attention that was rightfully mine. I just did what I had to do, and by god, I’d do it again!

Anyway, not long after The Biting, the Pepe went away. Now, I’m not sayin that the two incidents were connected, but, like, they totally were!

Buh-bye lubbish Pepeman! We all know you really weny away because the Rubinman scared you! Ha!

So, dug me a hole the other day.

It was a great hole, you should’ve seen it - I may be just a little dog, but I dig a mean hole, I really do. So there I am, hole dug, chewstick already burried (one I prepared earlier hehe) and I go and start collecting my stuff to bury in The Hole. I get them all lined up nice and neat at the side of it: Teddy, Buddy, Freezebone, and my ball. I can see Amber and Terry talking in the kitchen, but they haven’t seen me ha! So I’m just about to start getting my stuff buried, and I see a bit of The Hole that’s not quite right.

I had to go all the way in to get it sorted (I told you it was a big hole) and while I’m down there I start to hear this noise…

So, I haul ass out of the hole, and there they are. Amber and Terry, and they’re going freaking crazy! Terry especially; I mean, you’d have thought it was his Freezebone I’d buried. Like, take a chill pill, pal! They were both all annoyed, waving their arms around and making noises like those Sims Amber’s always playing with. They wouldn’t let me back near the hole. I took off round the garden, doing my "running really fast like a bullet on speed" thing to confuse them, but when I stopped, Terry had filled in the hole! I think Buddy and Teddy got washed after that as well, but I’m not sure. I’ve got them all dirtied back up again now, but I’m still quite gutted about the hole. Now they’re watching me so much it’s like being in the Big Brother house. Haven’t had a chance to dig me another hole yet. But I will. Watch this space.

Rubin.