An Open Letter to Britney Spears
Dear Britney Spears,
S’up? Rubinman here - yes, THE Rubinman!!! How’re ya? So, I am writing this “letter” because I saw yoos on the “teevee” yesterday, and everyone was all, “GOD, lookit Britney, you can totally see her pants, and also, SHE IS NOT WEARING NO PANTS!!” Well, anyways, I noticed you were getting, like, a really hard time, so I thought I’d just let you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, Britney. No, in fact, I myself got caught in a few “crotch shots” over the Christmas period, so, it’s like, here they are:
Yeah, so I’m a bit blurred in this one, but it’s OK ‘cos, it’s like, I can totally get away with it, ya know what I mean, Brit? Me’n Paris had been out drinkin, and we were totally WRECKED, but, it’s like, that doesn’t make me a bad Bichon, y’know?
Yeah, here I am, legs “akimbo”. SO?!?!
Yes, that IS a Santa suit I’m wearin’… I would let you borrow it, but, it’s like, the Rubinman DOES NOT SHARE. What you totally CAN borrow, though, if you want, is my Yoda suit , only don’t you tell anyone it was me that gave you it, okay, because that is SO not cool…
So, as you can see, Britney, the “crotch shot” can happen to any of us - even me. I know! And all them people that have been sayin’ bad words about you, Britney, they are just JEALOUS so don’t you bother about them. The Rubinman knows how to handle those people, and don’t you forget it. Also, while I’m here, you probably noticed that it was “Christmas” yesterday (Well, maybe you didn’t, Britney. I dunno if you were a “good girl” or not, and if you weren’t, it’s like, Santa wouldn’t have visited you, you know?) and so you’re probably all “OMG, I wonder what the Rubinman got from Santa?!” Well, ponder on, Britney, because I’m totally going to keep you in suspense until tomorrow, or maybe the day after, depends how “busy” I am.
Smell ya later, Brit!
from
RUBIN
Fab to see you back at the keyboard, Rubin! But, y’know, undies aren’t all bad!
xx
Right on brother!!!
Dude, you ought to do the whole sluttypuppy.com schtick. Pappy’s lucky number 45 on the site.
I’ve nominated you for the Bloggers of the World Award. I hope you will accept and pass it on.