Horns
So, growed me a set o’ horns. Ya like?
(note: there’s still only just one of me, I just gave ya two pictures, so there’s more of me to love)
Now, I know what y’all are thinkin. You’re all, "Oh God, no! Is that some kind of a devil dog or somethin?" Why yes, yes it is. I am the madcrazy Devil Dawg ™ and I’m comin to get yoooouuu! Hee!
Heh. Amber and Terry better WATCH IT now. See, my horns give me special powers. Special MAGIC powers - magic powers so secret that I can’t even tell ya or I’d havata kill every last one of you. OK I’ll tell you: it’s the power to drive Terry’s car. Every night I steal that baby and I go cruisin for french poodles.
Ha! I got you there, didn’t I? You were all, "hmmm, well, he does have horns, now… I dunno, maybe he can drive…." Of course I can’t freakin drive! I’m a DOG, fer crying out loud - what are you, stupid? Heh. Nah, actually it’s the power to eat cats whole. This week? Seven cats. That’s right - seven. I would say eight but the last one was kinda scrawny - kinda like the cat you can eat between meals without ruining your appetite, it wasn’t worth mentioning. Seven cats, though, I kid you not…
